How can I be more outgoing and meet new people?

It sounds like you are having some difficulty adjusting into the things that truly interest you and socializing with this group instead of going with the flow of the ideas of others and what may seem ‘normal’ for your age group. In my experience, I faced similar challenges since many of the people around me expected me to share their interests.

While it is fun to socialize, it is not necessarily all that fun when you are drunk and getting involved with activities that don’t really lead anywhere or give you any real fulfillment. I find it so much more enjoyable to actually step out of what I thought was my ‘comfort zone’ and embrace my true interests such as poetry, art, quality music, book readings, and groups with similar interests. I so understand the challenge of meeting new people, it can really be a nerve wrecker when you initially begin the process.

Here are a few steps that have helped me along the way:

1) Give yourself permission to be different and try out the things that you really like…even if you have to go by yourself. For example, if you have been wanting to try out Thai food, or ceramics, or something, go ahead and take yourself out to that restaurant or enroll in that class.

2) Love yourself. God created you very unique and you are very special. You have your own unique fingerprints to prove that there is nobody, no not one person, that is just like you. It is up to you to explore your unique characteristics, talents, gifts, etc and smile about them. What are the things that you are good at? Whatever it is that distinctly makes you you, is hardwired into your DNA. It is up to you to embrace this and appreciate these qualities. These are the characteristics that will cause you to be a huge success over your peers later in life. It also helped me to remind myself of the many challenges others face to just have simple things like water, a bed, and a safe place to live. This adjusted my perspective to keep me grateful of what I do have and give myself a break about whatever it is I don’t like about myself since it is subject to change.

3) If you fall, get right back up. Take a chance in that ceramics class to just say hello to your neighbor. Or even just a smile. Take your time in this process and give yourself permission to slowly engage in socializing. You don’t have to win everyone on the first day. You can first order your food at the restaurant and have a little small talk with the waitress. If you stutter or do something silly, pat yourself on the back for trying. Sometimes you will even make yourself laugh which is good too. Try it again the next time…each time you will find yourself overcoming the last barrier and eventually getting the hang of it.

Finally, this is a continual process of embracing who you are, appreciating your uniqueness, and taking it one day, one moment at a time. Wish you the best!!

-Overcomer

You are right that parties with drinking is not a good idea. Try joining a ladies club at church or school, study group, sports, chess club, craft club, etc. People tend to make friends that have things in common.

You have to want to first. Then do it. Slow and easy.
I have always "arranged social things in a safe way for myself".
Like I pick places to go like the mall, I can be around people and
strike up casual conversations and then chat a bit with strangers
and learn slowly that way how to.
Or another way is to get around some older kinds of people who don’t JUDGE you
like peers would. Peers can be like mean school kids and pick on you and tear
you to peices and make fun of you. I had this happen so much I don’t do well
around my peers I just fade into the woodwork. But I do love being in a "safe", comfort
zone of intellectuals and older people somehow. So look for some groups you can
mingle into and with and start to spread your wings and get ready to fly. It is nice.

one of the most basic of all human needs is to be able to feel loved, accepted, and appreciated
the best way to accomplish that is to love, accept, and appreciate
find someone that you see as shy and reserved and make them feel accepted
it could be anyone at a bus stop
a classmate