How to be a more outgoing person?

The first thing you need to do is be who you are, and not be ashamed of that. If people can’t accept that, then you hang in there and find people who will. But if YOU want to change who you are, then that’s another story. I can give you suggestions, but ultimately it’s all up to what feels right to you.

I guess one thing I’d say is to change the way you look. If you think you look intimidating, then make adjustments. Make yourself look more approachable. Dress more "normal" if you think that’d be best for you. After all, it’s only clothes, right? They should express who you are, and if you want to be more personable, then wear clothes that don’t work against that.

Uninstall your computer games, or try and work on stopping. Limit your weed consumption. These things clearly just seclude you more, so you need to try and drop the things from your life that take you away from society or from going out with people and being social.

If someone offers you something, FEEL FREE TO ACCEPT IT! It’s a weird concept, but people feel good about themselves when they offer someone something, and that person accepts. It’s an act of kindness. They’ll associate that self-righteous feeling towards hanging out with you. Promise, I’m a psych major. Maybe just don’t accept it all the time, and don’t ask for it. But if someone offers you something, feel free to have some. Think of it as doing them a favor and allowing them to feel nice.

I used to have a tough time being social, truly. I think eventually I just built up a confidence in myself, and realized that I was a smart and funny person, and I had something to say. If people couldn’t accept that, then they weren’t worth it. It’s certainly worked for me, though, you just need to realize that being secluded is shooting yourself in the foot. You have nothing to lose by allowing yourself to talk more in social gatherings, or make your presence more known, since you realize that your current strategy isn’t working.

One thing that certainly helped me was working out, and finding hobbies/activities I was passionate about. Working out is just a natural way to feel good about yourself (releases endorphins, as sex does), and it built up my confidence quite a bit. Finding activities is just something that people can find interesting about you, "Oh you road bike? That’s cool." Etc.

You just need to have more confidence, friend. Easier said than done, I know, and it will take time. Don’t expect to get everything you want within a week. Realize you’re funny, you’re a good-looking guy, and you have something to say. In many of these social gatherings, all you have to do is let other people talk and just facilitate their talking by asking open-ended questions.

Anyways – I hope some of this helps. Take away the things in your life that contribute towards your seclusion, and experiment by putting yourself out there and observe what results from it. Best of luck.

Open QuestionShow me another »
How to be a more outgoing person?
I’m shy and I need to become more outgoing but don’t know how!

1) learn to love yourself, then people will love you for who you are

You can join more social activities and communities on websites, or at school. (not to mention clubs)